carnibunk

Yeah. So I hate techno music now. I haven’t heard this much techno since ... well, since I lived with a gay girl. I have heard some good imaginative techno music in my lifetime, but all this house techno could be done by a monkey with an Apple IIe and it is turning me against all techno in general. But watching a bunch of scantily-clad gay men dance to it (some of whom, if I didn’t know better, are out of their minds on coke, ecstasy or ketamine) is absolutely priceless.

I also made a command decision and decided not to go into Egypt today. Being identified with this group of men (some of whom, if I didn’t know better, were STILL out of their minds on [insert substance here]) didn’t sound like a great idea in a country where you can be arrested for being gay. Listening in on a few conversations, the consensus seemed to be for the most part was that the Egyptians would just have to deal with it. 

Now, while this is a brave attitude (and applause to those who chose this adventurous cause to change hearts and minds), my attitude would probably have gone along the lines of “Suck it up and pretend I’m your cousin for a day.” If it was the deep South in the US where I lived, I would be more predisposed to martyrdom. But Crimony, this is your vacation, and this isn’t Kansas, friend of Dorothy!

I am enjoying the relaxed dress code we have for this cruise. It’s nice dressing down for a week.

Atlantis Cruise, late August – early September 2009

This cruise is a bunch of fun, but good God! It is the second full day and I am ready for a break. I have pulled almost 45 hours in the past three days alone. It would have been more, but even Maritime has labor laws. 

The first day was the day before the cruise. Atlantis learned that even though this ship has more manpower and room in which to work, the size of the ship actually works against them on embarkation day. No matter what the size of the ship, shore side customs is the same size; therefore, the more crap that has to go through that bottleneck (not just Atlantis equipment, but all passenger luggage, food, etc), the slower the process goes. So they shipped everything to Naples to be loaded a day before the passengers embarked in Rome.  For you techies out there, we took on 20 VL-3000's, a couple of GrandMA's, a myriad of moving LED fixtures, a stack of subs and speakers that would fill a homeless shelter, amp racks, power distros and a step-down transformer the size of a SmartCar. 

We have many many guest performers this cruise. Comedians, singers, actors ... some of them are pretty good. A couple of the comedians are relying too much on the fact that they are gay and too often fall back on butt sex jokes for shock value. It doesn’t work with this crowd. A good fifth of our passengers this cruise show up to dinner in ass-less chaps , so by the third hour it takes a bit more than a joke about fisting to be shocking.

The pool parties ... wowzers and sweet, creamy Buddha! The pool parties are incredible. We’re using a pair of Glaciator fog machines to fog the deck – machines normally used to fog arenas and stadiums. Our smoke is rivalling that of the smokestacks from the ship. Sorry, not “smokestacks.” I meant to say “environmentally-friendly main exhaust vents.” Or is it “Happy Ports?” Politically correct or not, at least the pixie dust coming from the Glaciators is non-toxic with no CO2.

Speaking of atmosphere ... and of segues ... the overall mood aboard is far more relaxed than our usual cruise. Celebrity Cruises normally attracts a more formal clientele with ties and gowns – not my normal MO. This cruise, we are allowed to be a little more informal in guest areas. And there are no children aboard, which is a huge improvement. I’m okay with kids, but 12 or 13 days is too long for a kid to be cooped up on a boat. A little advice: if you want to take your kids on a cruise, make it a 5 or 6 day cruise.

I am washing my hands every chance I get – even more than usual – and I am avoiding the public restrooms. Before you get all uppity and scream discrimination, it isn’t because our passengers are gay. It’s because Atlantis targets a more promiscuous demographic of gay men than other gay-friendly cruises. With that amount of touching, cold-and-flu spreads much more quickly than on a normal cruise, which is fast enough. 

However, I do have the advantage of being American this cruise.  Even though I have a higher risk of catching cold this cruise, most of our guests this cruise are also American (as opposed to other cruises where most of our clientele is European). My body is more adapted to American strains of flu, so most likely if I catch a cold it won’t be as bad as crew from other nationalities.

So far, that’s Atlantis. I am having a blast, but (like a kid on a cruise) I’ll be happy to see it go. The overtime is nice, but I need my sleep.